However, Carnegie makes a distinction between flattery and appreciation: flattery is insincere and selfish, whereas appreciation has to be genuine. Instead, you should “be hearty in approbation and lavish in praise.” People generally want a sense of importance, and so praising them helps feed that desire. People rarely admit wrongdoing, and so criticism usually only puts people on the defensive. Part 1 of the book, which focuses on handling people, emphasizes the importance of not criticizing, condemning, or complaining about others. The book is split into four parts: techniques in handling people ways to make people like you how to win people over to your way of thinking and how to change people’s behavior without causing resentment.
How to Win Friends and Influence People consists of material from Dale Carnegie’s lectures on business and personal relations.
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